General Wedding customs

Wedding ceremonies may contain any number of different elements, however most contain wedding vows of some kind and a proclamation of marriage, usually by the officiant. Most weddings also involve wearing the traditional clothes of the culture in which the couple is wedding. A wedding is often followed or accompanied by a wedding reception.

Other elements may include music, poetry, prayer, scripture, or other traditions. In most societies a number of traditions or customs have emerged around the wedding ceremony, many of which have lost their original symbolic meaning in the modern world. Other wedding traditions are relatively recent. Some elements of the Western wedding ceremony symbolize the bride's departure from her father's control and entry into a new family with her husband. In modern Western weddings, this symbolism is largely vestigial, since husband and wife are of equal power and status. Recently in some cultures, same-sex weddings have begun to be celebrated.

A wedding's particular customs may be varied, mixed, or invented to suit the personalities, interests, and cultural backgrounds of the couple. Such hybrid ceremonies are more common when performed by Civil Celebrants, as in Australia.

Chinese wedding customs

Weddings in modern China combine both traditional elements and elements influenced by the West. The actual civil ceremony consists of registering the marriage with the local registrar is brief and done without much ceremony. The wedding reception, however, is elaborate and complex. The one prominent element of modern Chinese weddings is the Chinese wedding album.

Traditional customs include the so-called "three letters" and "six etiquette". The "three letters" involve a series of three written letters ("request letter", "gift letter" and "wedding letter") being hand-delivered in sequence by the groom's family to that of the bride through an elderly female envoy/liaison from the groom's family. The "six etiquette" consists of six steps that are carried out prior to and during the wedding day. In the first step, the groom's family's envoy communicates the offer of marriage to the bride's family and attempts to persuade the bride's family to accept. If the offer is accepted by the bride's family, the two families negotiate the terms of the marriage. In the second step, the groom's family, via its envoy, requests the bride's family to disclose the eight Chinese characters that mark the date and hour of the bride's birth. A fortune teller is then hired to analyze the date and hour of the bride's birth with the date and hour of the groom's birth to see if the bride's date and hour of birth are compatible with those of the groom. The third step consists of the groom's family sending some initial gifts to the bride's family. The fourth step is where the groom's family will pick a "good day" to send their formal gifts to the bride's family and to send gifts, cash, cakes and food for use in ancestral worship. The fifth step is the selection, by the hired fortune teller, of a "good day" for the actual wedding date.

The sixth and final step is the wedding day ceremony itself. The interior of both families' homes are decorated in red, while the bride and groom are dressed in red with the bride's face being veiled in a red cloth. A procession of servants and musicians from the groom's family picks up the bride from her family's home and delivers her, in a carriage, to the groom's family's home. The bride's gifts to the groom would be delivered to the groom at this time only if the bride is a "long distance" bride who does not live in the same area as the groom. Otherwise, her gifts should have been sent a few days prior. With relatives and friends witnessing, the bride and groom then proceed to worship the heavens, the earth, and the groom's dead ancestors before the couple serve tea to the elders of their families. After being served tea by the bride and groom, the family elders will give them red envelopes (lai see) containing money and offer their blessings. This so-called "tea ceremony" is the ritual climax of the wedding day. The aforesaid "wedding letter" is presented during the wedding day and confirms that the bride will become part of the groom's family's household. If financially possible, the groom's family will then throw a huge feast for all relatives and friends with the groom's family's said liaison making repeated toasts to the newly wedded persons. When the married couple are finally alone in the bridal room where the wedding bed is located, the groom may lift the red veil that had hidden his bride's face.

Three days after the wedding, the bride returns to her family's home bringing a roasted pig and gifts. She may or may not, depending on which region in China, be required to be accompanied by her new husband, and she may or may not stay in her old home for a few days. The bride's family, as a courtesy, would return some of the gifts that they had received from the groom's family.

Western Wedding Customs

The Western custom of the bride wearing a white wedding dress, came to symbolize purity in the Victorian era (despite popular misconception and the hackneyed jokes of situation comedies the white dress did not actually indicate virginity, which was symbolized by a face veil). Within the "white wedding" tradition, a white dress and veil would not have been considered appropriate in the second or third wedding of a widow or divorcee. The specific conventions of Western weddings largely from a Protestant and Catholic viewpoint, are discussed at "White wedding."

A wedding is often followed or accompanied by a wedding reception, at which an elaborate wedding cake is served. Western traditions include toasting the bride and groom, the newlyweds having the first dance, and cutting the cake. The bride throws her bouquet to the assembled group of all unmarried women in attendance, and the woman who catches it is supposedly going to be the next to wed. A fairly recent egalitarian equivalent has the groom throwing the bride's garter to the assembled unmarried men; the man who catches it is supposedly the next to wed.

A long-standing modern tradition is for brides to wear or carry "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" during the service. It is considered good luck to do so. Often times the bride attempts to have one item that meets all of these qualifications, such as a borrowed blue handerchief which is "new to her" but loaned by her grandmother (thus making it old.)

French Wedding customs

Many times in smaller French towns, the groom will meet his fiancée at her home on the day of the wedding and escort her to the chapel where the ceremony is being held. As the couple proceeds to the chapel, children will stretch long white ribbons across the road which the bride will cut as she passes.

At the chapel, the bride and groom are seated on two red velvet chairs underneath a silk canopy they called a carre. Laurel leaves may be scattered across their paths when they exit the chapel. Sometimes small coins are also tossed for the children to gather.

At the reception, the couple customarily uses a toasting cup, called a Coupe de Marriage. The origin of giving toast actually began in France, when they literally dropped a small piece of toast into the couple's wine (to ensure a healthy life). They lifted their glass to "a toast", as is common in Western culture today.

Some couples choose to serve a croquembouche instead of a wedding cake. The dessert is a pyramid of crème-filled pastry puffs, drizzled with a caramel glaze.

At a more boisterous wedding, tradition involves continuing the celebration until very late at night. After the reception, those invited to the wedding will gather outside the newlyweds' window and bang pots and pans. They are then invited into the house for some more drinks in the couple's honor, after which the couple is finally allowed to be alone for their first night together as husband and wife.

Another practice that is becoming more common at wedding celebrations is "beheading" a bottle of champagne with a sabre made for the occasion. It was started as a way for the Hussards (under Napoleon's command) to celebrate victories and exhibit their horseback skills: they would "behead" the top off a bottle of champagne while on horseback. Legend has it that the skilled horsemen would ride at a full gallop while brave women held up bottles of champagne. The sabre must strike the neck of the bottle at exactly the right angle (champagne bottles have over 100 pounds of pressure per square inch).

This practice spread throughout France as a way to celebrate special occasions. Now decorative replicas of these special sabres can be purchased from artisans in Thiers, France (the French capital of cutlery).

Wedding Music

Western weddings

• Music often played at western weddings includes:
• The "Bridal Chorus" from Lohengrin by Richard Wagner, often used as the processional and commonly known as "Here Comes the Bride" - Note: Richard Wagner is said to have been Anti-Semitic,[citation needed] and as a result, the Bridal Chorus is often not used at Jewish weddings.
• Johann Pachelbel's Canon in D is often used as an alternative processional.
• The "Wedding March" from Felix Mendelssohn's incidental music for the Shakespeare play, A Midsummer Night's Dream, often used as a recessional.
• The "Toccata" from Charles-Marie Widor's Symphony for Organ No. 5, also used as a recessional.
• Segments of the Ode To Joy, the fourth movement of Ludwig van Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, sometimes make appearances at weddings; its message of unity is suitable for the occasion.
• At wedding receptions, Der Ententanz, a 1950s Swiss Oom-pah song known more commonly in America as The Chicken Dance, has become a popular part of the reception dance music.